The Best Sentence Ever

Ever feel incompetent or lost as a writer?  ARC Consultant Drew Miller gives a hopeful glimpse into a college writer's mind.

I like writing perfect sentences. I’ve never done it.

Think of something clever, Drew. No, I don’t like the way that sounds. No, that’s too obvious. No that’s too cliché. There we go—one hour, one perfect sentence.

Perfect second sentences make first sentences even better.

Maybe I can find a big word. Ecdysis. Jane Eyre is undergoing ecdysis. Beautiful. This will give my mom chills. Even better, this will deconstruct all the lies I learned in high school. Take that, Mr. Smith! I am the smartest.

Two Sentences down. Thesis now?

My thesis doesn’t make any sense. My first two sentences don’t make any sense. I’ll just take my thesis and keep thudding and tumbling down the page like a toddler bumping his butt down stairs.

I need a chair pillow.

Sometimes I write five pages, not knowing what I say.

I need someone to read this paper over—this is rough. I want her to say, this is amazing. I want her to say, get this published.

I can’t find my pen. Maybe I’ll listen to another song on Spotify.

Can you read my paper?

She ‘s reading silently. What is she thinking? Oh, no! She wrote on my paper. Oh no,  she wrote again! I am going to fail college. What is my mom going to do with me?

“Okay, Drew,” she says. “Good work. You have a few wordy sentences, and I am a bit foggy on this part of the paper, but overall, it’s a nice piece. Develop another draft with my comments in mind, and you’ll be fine.”

Well, maybe I can pass this class. Where’s my pen?